Let Go The Errors

It is a haunting experience, the current one I am going through, to be in the full knowledge, to be completely, utterly, cognizant that every choice that I make will irrevocabaly change the course that my life may, or may not be on. Everything from the apartments I sign leases for and the locations upon the globe I chose to live, to the professions I aspire toward or the friendships I start or keep. For the meals that I chose to order at resturants. Whether or not to stop and tie my shoe or let that bitch ride out. To take a moment and breathe, or to trust my body to breathe for me.

Daunting, absolutely daunting, to be aware of the intricacies of existance. That to order soup, I will never be able to have THAT salad.

I've been warned of such trains of thoughts, and while I do not dwell, I certainly play with the ifs, and I most definately hope, if not pray, that the choices I make are the ones that are going to make me-us-happy for however long we are meant to be happy for.

I look around, in all the corners of the world, in all the walks of life, to the people I've only heard about to the people I speak to everyday...

...and every one seems to be bitching.  Complaining even. Thinking of what could, should, would be. And maybe for right now I am one of them. Forgive me.

I do not like the world I did not create. I enjoy my fantasies. My dream world. A world where nothing takes place but understanding. Where people are people, and not the horrid devils they are so easily made out to be. Where love is. Where true, unconditional, human, love is. It has made me happier then any one man has ever been with a heart pumping blood. To exist in a world where the swooping night owl only wants the see the ground. Where the news only shows the weather and the weather bares no tragedies. Where bombs do not drop. Where death is a trumiph. Where money bares no improtance because no one has it. Where the people who do not know me I love. Where the people who know me I love more. Where the people who know me and love me I worship as Gods. Where the art of the earth, and the art of man's recreation of earth, bare all importances.

I have lived in my world for a solid year now.

I am happy. I am happy to know how to dream. I am so happy to know love.

It took me so long.

I'm going to try your world for a while.

Be easy on me.  


I will not proofread this post. Let go the errors.